Justin Gilman

VICE: Comedians Give Advice to Their 18-Year-Old Selves

Justin Gilman
VICE: Comedians Give Advice to Their 18-Year-Old Selves

With high school graduations happening across the country this month, it's an important time to remember 18-year-olds know absolutely nothing. The summer after high school is a coming-of-age purgatory, when you feel like you've become a real grown-up, even though you're probably still asking your parents for $20 to see a movie or spend on weed.

When I was 18, I was about a year into doing stand-up comedy, eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my parents' basement, and driving to open mics in Washington, DC. Now I'm 22, five years into doing stand-up comedy, eating grilled cheese sandwiches in my shared two-bedroom apartment, and finally getting paid enough to buy my own grilled cheese supplies. I still don't know a damn thing. So VICE asked me to email my famous comedy friends who are older than 30 and ask them what advice they'd give to their 18-year-old selves.

Paul Scheer

If you're 18 and you're just out of high school, get a passport and get the fuck out of the country. For the rest of your life, you'll never be able to "find the time" or be able to get off work. This is the only time when it makes sense. You have no real responsibilities. So explore. Learn. Do it for a year and then come back and start your life. Even if you just go to college you'll be way ahead of the game. If that seems out of range, then just spend a week in Epcot Center in DisneyWorld. It's roughly the same thing, just about 75 percent more expensive.

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The business end of Twin. In charge of landing interesting new projects, making clients happy, and coffee. A maker of beautiful music and master of oral sound effects. A secret Jim Henson nerd. Will always find ways of working smarter. Will never participate in karaoke.