Paul Scheer.com

May 16 2008

What We Learned From The Almost Season Finale of LOST

What we learned…
1) Why Hurley winds up back in the mental hospital - the numbers again.
2) The baby story - Kate had her.
3) That Claire and Jin we not the other two temporary survivors according to the O6 stories.
4) That the Orchid secondary protocal was probably developed about 15 years ago (1988) - about 3 years before the purge (1992). The box with the crackers and mirror was hidden 15 years ago.
5) The entrance to the Orchid (a greenhouse), was damaged, probably during the Incident in 1985.
6) Keamy rigged the frieghter with explosives triggered to the dead mans switch on his arm.
7) We know what happened to Michael after he left the Island and before he got to NY. Abet quickly.
8) A nod to the producers - Sawyer calling the Barracks New Otherton.
9) That the Secondary protocol is a Dharma plan, and not something developed recently by Widmore.
10) Hurley doesn’t want any kind of money. Not his, not Oceanic’s. The money is the excuse Abaddon uses to explain his visit to Hurley at the Santa Rosa Mental Institute.
11) Claires mother survived the car accident.
12) Ben has a plan.

What our characters learned…
1) Jack finds out who Aaron and Claire are.
2) Some learned that Michael is still alive.

What we want to know…
1) Has Sun learned something about her Dad’s comapany’s envolvement with Hanso/Widmore/Dharma?
2) Did Ben alert the Others, who were at the Temple, that something was up when he used the mirror to communicate something to someone?

Short theories
1) Jin and a number of other characters die when Kearmy’s dead mans switch goes off and blows up the frieghter.
2) Penny arrives in her OWN ship and saves Desmond.
3) Kate’s “pregnancy” will be the big flaw in the O6’s cover story.

From Doc Artz Lost Blog

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May 15 2008

Here’s a one minute French Lego tribute/renactment to Beverly Hills Cop, that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Beverly Hills Cop.

The big tip off is Axel Foley is played by a white lego man, with blonde hair who apparently is very good at karate!? Also they spell Eddie like this “Eddy” and use a Warner Brothers logo instead of the Paramount one (Nitpicky I know but you figure if you do a stop motion animation -a very time consuming process- you might double check your source material)

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If I had a nickel for every time a person said to me…”Paul, please, please tell me what are your thoughts on the fashion stylings from the new “Sex and the City” movie?” Hell I’d have 5 cents.

But it might be something like this….

 ”…that outfit could never come off in the throes of passion. That’s the kind of dress that has to be carefully unhooked by a team of trained professionals and placed in some fireproof panic room….On the other hand, the dress definitely got me excited about seeing the new movie: I had no idea it takes place in the future.”

For more thoughts on Carrie Bradshaw’s Fab New Dress check out a segment that the Daily News calls “Style Pro Vs Average Joe” - I’m the average joe!

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May 14 2008
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Sometimes Amazon Gets it WRONG!

Sure I ordered the Buffy the Vampire Slyer Spinoff “Angel” but that doesn’t mean that I like all DVDs with the word ANGEL in the titles. Although “Touched By an Angel” is pretty good.

Who knows though, this reccomendation does look pretty sexy, WTF? I’m in.

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May 13 2008

The Plot For Point Break 2: Indio (This is Real)

When Billy Dalton, military special ops and star surfer, is disqualified from the pro-surfing tour, he takes off for the coast of Bali looking for the perfect wave. While there he’s recruited by a private security force who are trying to find a gang known as The Bush Administration, surfing outlaws and modern day pirates who work like “The Ex-Presidents,” a bank robbing crew from Malibu twenty years ago.

-Sounds Awesome.Get Ready to Shoot your Gun in the air and SCREAM!

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I’m starting a line of greeting cards for cattle.  This one is a condolence card. The inside reads…

“I’m deeply sorry your friend was shot in the head with a metal poker. On the plus side I hear he’s going to shipped to an Arby’s in San Diego. Yummy!”

(The fact that I eat meat is making it really tough to write these cards and sound like I mean it.)

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May 12 2008
Shakedown, breakdown, takedown
Everybody wants into the crowded line
Breakdown, takedown, your busted
Shakedown, breakdown, honey
Just about the time you’re thinkin it’s alright
Breakdown, takedown, your busted
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May 09 2008

My Grandma Reviews My Performance on 30 Rock

  • Grandma: I saw "The Rock."
  • Me: Oh Cool. Did you like it?
  • Grandma: I thought it was very good. You used your face very well.
  • Me: Thanks?!
  • Grandma: Oh yes, actors always have to always use their faces. Remember that Paul, that's where people look when they watch TV, at the faces.
  • Me: Right.
  • Grandma: I liked this part a lot, it was VERY dramatic.
  • Me: It's supposed to be funny.
  • Grandma: Yes, it was, but it had a lot of drama too. The other show you do is just you acting like a goofball.
  • Me: Well, that show isn't supposed to be dramatic.
  • Grandma: Mm, I guess. Let me ask you a question, did you do your own running for this part?
  • Me: That wasn't me, that was the other guy, in the page uniform, Jack (McBrayer)
  • Grandma: No, that was you running at the end.
  • Me: Nope. remember I got shot in the leg.
  • Grandma: Right. Well that guy who was running was very good too. Is Alec Baldwin tall?
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May 08 2008
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Buy the Sleepless in Seattle Houseboat!

If you have an extra 2.5 Mill burning a hole in your pocket, then this is the deal for you.

If you are the lucky purchaser of this HOUSEBOAT. Let me tell you how every interaction at your new house boat would go

GUEST: Sorry I was late, I had a hard time finding your place. I didn’t realize when you said you lived on the water, that you actually meant ON THE WATER.

YOU: Haha, yeah, that happens. Here’s a fun fact, did you know this is actually the same houseboat they used in Sleepless in Seattle?

GUEST: (Awkward Pause-Forced Smile and Head Nod)

YOU: Pretty Neat, right? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan…Together again.

GUEST: (Awkward Pause)

YOU: Only 2.5 Million Bucks.

GUEST: (Beat) Right, this was a mistake. I’m going to go now. You seem like a crazy person.

YOU:Haha, you wouldn’t be the first person to say that.

Guest Runs away.

You look in a mirror and a single tear falls down your face.

THE END!

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